


Fire Enthusiast

by edensgay (buckybarfs)



Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: Breastmilk, Drinking, F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, Other, Swearing, blowing stuff up, fire lots of fire, glue huffing, hurk and sharky bein bros, hurk attempts to drink breastmilk, i don't own hero, mention of lesbians having babies, pizza bros!, pretty typical shit for sharky, roasting john seed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-28
Updated: 2018-07-28
Packaged: 2019-06-17 14:10:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15463125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buckybarfs/pseuds/edensgay
Summary: Sharky watches as the deputy raises hell without him, later he complains about it to his cousin and best lady bro.





	Fire Enthusiast

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kimryes](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=kimryes).



> Heyo! This came from a request on tumblr  
> "Can I request a thing? Please? Sharky reacting to Dep blowing shit up but before Sharky’s personal quest. Love ya❤️"  
> Hero Jones is an OC from kimryes.tumblr.com check her out, Ler makes awesome GFH's and has a cute as a button dep. I'm so thankful she let me use Hero.

  
  
He can see the fuckin’ fire from all the way on top of his trailer in the damn Henbane, whoever did it has earned his respect and he doesn’t even know who they are. The massive red orange flames lick at the stars, smoke billowing from somewhere over in the Holland Valley. Whoever it is, is giving John Seed absolute hell and he feels pride swelling in his chest for a person he’s never met.   
  
He hopes it’s one of those big ugly red silo’s that John loves so much, the image of John Seed standing in front of the ruins of one the phallic shaped homages to his ego stomping his feet like the little princess he is makes Sharky chuckle to himself.   
  
“Hell yeah, I’ll drink to that.” He says to nobody in particular as he raises his beer in the direction of the flames.   
  
Next time it happens he and Hurk are chilling in his living room, some movie they’ve seen a thousand times is on and Hurk is recounting the story of the hot babe who got away for the seventeenth time. It’s a typical Sunday for Sharky, part of his normal routine by now and he wouldn’t have it any other way. Until he hears the sounds of an explosion outside, feels it tear through the ground as his mobile home shakes in the aftershocks.   
  
“Hey man what the hell is goin’ on?” Hurk grumbles, throwing himself back on the couch instead of getting up to investigate. In a horror movie he would survive out of pure laziness.   
  
Sharky shrugs and decides to check it out, because that was a gargantuan explosion and he’s really hoping it was the resistance and not some stupid ass new scheme Eden’s Gate has dreamt up. He pokes his head out the front door and his jaw drops open as he sees the smoke clouds popping up around the Henbane. There’s a sickly sweet smell in the air that makes his nose sting and gives his head a similar feeling to when he used to huff glue.    
  
If he had to guess, someone blew up a shitton of Faith’s dumb little temple things. Part of him knows that it’s the same person from before and he can’t wait to meet him because he has some tricks up his sleeve he knows they’ll like. Besides, they can’t be setting things on fire and blowing shit up without the help of the biggest fire enthusiast in all of Hope County right? That’s just not right.   
  
“Hurkie,” he shouts still standing in the doorway watching the flames lick at the horizon, “You gotta see this shit, man.”   
  
With a mumbled curse and some promise that if what he is about to see isn’t totally sick then he’s gonna give Sharky a wedgie Hurk gets up and pads to the door. “Aw! Without us?” He pouts at the smoke, taking his exclusion as a personal slight, which Sharky kind of does too.   
  
Then there’s honking out front and a shout of “Shurkie!” Letting them know that their pizza and best bro, regardless of vagitalia or penilness, has arrived.    
  
Hero got out of the car holding three pizza and two litres of mountain dew, a balancing act that would put any juggler to shame, and headed for the door. She paused in the doorway and raised an eyebrow when neither Sharky nor Hurk moved, both of them still too entranced by the flames to care that she was there.    
  
She swiveled her head and squinted into the distance before getting a shit eating grin on her face. “Fuckin’ beautiful isn’t it?”    
  
Hurk snaps out of it, his eyes honing in on the pizza and mountain dew, a hunger so intense in his eyes that Hero wonders how he hasn’t started drooling. “Aw shit, the pizzas here! It’s a real party now.” He finally moves out of her way and allows her to squeeze past Sharky so she can place the pizzas on the table inside.    
  
“Y’know who’s been settin’ shit on fire without me?” Sharky asks, finally tearing his eyes away from the flames and heading inside to get some pizza before Hurk eats it all like he always does.   
  
She shrugs and cracks herself open a beer on the edge of the coffee table, there's chips in the wood and scuffs from how often it’s people have cracked bottles on it's edge. “Haven’t met them myself but Nick says it’s the Junior Deputy.”   
  
Hurk is too busy on his third slice of pizza to answer, instead nodding enthusiastically. Sharky pouts for a minute, still upset at not being apart of the fire festivities  before he nods in acceptance. “Speakin’ of, how’s the wife?”    
  
Before she has a chance to answer Hurk is spitting half his pizza out trying to talk, “Oooh, I haven’t seen her in forever. How’s baby Hurk Jr Jr?” The Junior, Junior almost makes her choke on her slice of pizza, because they never agreed to that and they definitely were not naming their child after Hurk.   
  
Hero winces at the reminder of her wife, she may be okay with Hurk’s strange jokes and intrusive questions and her wife could take a lot but she'd drawn the line when he’d asked her if he could try her milk when it came in. ‘Not straight from the teet o’ course, but maybe from a little mason jar, or oh! A shot glass, yeah!’ The words echoed in her head along with the image of her wife punching him in the face.   
  
“She’s good uncomfortable as fuck. She’s with daddy right now building a crib or something.” After that she tried to steer the conversation away from her wife, knowing that if Hurk asked one more time about trying her wife’s breastmilk she’d be unable to keep herself from running him over with Maximillian. She managed to get back onto the topic of the explosions, telling Sharky and Hurk about all the good shit the Deputy had been doing for Hope County.   
  
“You tell that Deputy if you see them that I’m the resident fire enthusiast and they better bring me along next time.” Sharky is completely serious, his brow scrunched up as he waggles his finger at his curly haired friend.    
  
Hero holds up her hands in surrender and nods, “I got you.” After that he goes back to angrily gnawing at his pizza, though he’s happier than he was before now that he knows his best bro has his back.   
  
A week or so later the Deputy shows up at his place, a herd of those brain dead Angel fucks hot on their heels. After taking out their followers he gives them the spiel he’s been practicing in the mirror since Hero promised to put in a good word for him, he’s a little disappointed when they decide to keep pants on but the resulting chaos definitely makes up for it. His sound system giving out is a little embarrassing but he’s a fire enthusiast, not an electrician so it’s forgivable.    
  
When the Deputy meets him back on the roof he can’t help the way his feet move, he has to dance to get rid of some of the pent up energy inside otherwise he swears he’s gonna combust. Which would be totally cool but, if he’s gonna combust Hurk needs to be there to film it. “Call me next time you need help with the Angels!” He says, hoping that it will be sooner rather than later because being part of Rooks team is fuckin’ awesome.   
  
“Actually,” they say, an easy grin spreading on their face, “I do need your help, but not with the angels.” They slowly turn and point at the giant eyesore that is the statue of the man-bun wearing, receding hairline wannabe Jesus. In that moment he knows they’re going to be best friends for fuckin’ life.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I love feedback and without it I would die.


End file.
